one more nasty email and i'll burn this place down.

its summer in michigan. that means rain. and heat. those are the modes: rainy and cool, or HOT and sticky. HOWEVER, i refuse to complain. not only am i not moving, but i'm also not able to change it, and its NOT SNOW!! time for fairs, outdoor activities, baseball games with big beers, riding the hellcat, and finally not being a recluse.

been making cool art lately. painting. a lot. i feel like a different person when i'm painting regularly. i'm ME.



new painting for business cards. i'll be selling prints of this for $10-20 Each. (large format, ready to frame). the print doesnt have my shop name on it.



back to it. take no prisoners!

painting eases the soul

life has been tricky lately... actually tricky isnt the kind of word i'd like to use. life has been more like an uphill climb, with the wind blowing snow in my face, and for some reason i've forgotten my shoes and the grass is thorny... get me?

but i find solace in my niece Chloe. she's amazing.

she's smart. and i mean SMART. i watch her grow and learn so much.

she's beautiful. the prettiest girl i know. sometimes i look at her and wonder how my goofball brother made some a perfect baby!

she's the little bit of glue that seems to hold the rest of us idiots together in our family.

and the best part: she's always able to make me HAPPY.


she makes me wish that when i'm a mom i'm blessed with a baby half as wonderful as she is.

so saturday, in the midst of more-to-do-than-time-to-do-it and the usual weekly angst, i took a few blank canvases to my brother and sister in laws and we painted. it made my world.

painting usually does this to me anyway... it makes everything all better. my old room used to smell like bad incense and oil paints. and i LOVED it. sometimes everything goes away when you feel the give of stretched canvas under a loaded brush. i knew majoring in painting in college would get me nowhere financially.. .but i also knew it was what my heart was meant to do.




watching her feel the paint and look at the colors. seeing the teeny prints and scribbles she left behind... even when she ate a mouthful of blue! it was all pretty magical. (and thank goodness for non toxic paint!)

spring into action...

spring. its here. _finally_

time to plant gardens, soak up the sun, drink good beers, and have fires in the yard. time to ride my bike till my arms are numb and my ears are deaf from the pipes. time to see Chloe (my niece) learning to walk and talk - she's 9 months old now! time to see GREEN and not gray. part of the midwest "charm" if you will...

my year doesnt start without a ride though. and i havent yet. (well not my bike - i did take my first small ride on a jockey shift for the first time ever!)

the Hellcat sits... waiting.

but we've been too busy. working from about 8 in the morning till 11 or 12 at night at the shop... making everyone else's bikes ready to ride.

but still... i havent!

the good thing is that i've been tattooing like crazy, and making art that i'm really proud of! it is not always easy when you're a tattoo artist to find: inspiration and good clientel who want more than just a butterfly on their hip or some tribal nonsense across their back.

so here are some fun pieces i've done as of late!

changes...

the end of my summer wrapped up fast and within a week it went from being 70 degrees in Michigan to being a high of in the 40s during the day. ouch.

still plugging away at my personal goals but not finding much in the way of results.

could be stress. could be lack of motivation. i'm so close but so far away.

interesting stuff i'm changing though in my life: my career.

i'm devoting more time to Plymouth Cycle and Speed and My Little Needle Tattoos and much less to previous endeavors. i think you reach a point in your life where your boss's mean hearted emails, and emotional roller coaster of reactions and demands is more than you can handle. and being your own boss, despite the money woes and the personal demands, is far more superior of an options. so thats where i stand. and its the best thing i think ive ever done.

working hard on a website for my tattoo shop, and working hard to bolster the bike shop business.

we WILL make it, and someday WONT be under the thumb of the unappreciative.

its a revolutionary thought to me. maybe not everyone is so "eureka!" over the idea... but i sure am :)

success>?!

today i weigh in 17 lbs lighter than i did at my last posting.

the funny thing: with how busy i've been : i've been to the gym only once... yet i've lost 17 lbs!

i'd say betsy is on to something!

and on this path: 15 more to go to reach my august 1st goal. i can do this.

and i believe that by my birthday i can be at my all time final goal.

woopee!

this is a great feeling after such a nice weekend.

i went to take pictures of my niece Chloe - since she's a whole 10 days old!



and i held her and we posed her all over for pics. she's such a doll.

and i had my first boat ride on a neighbor's pontoon. at dark, under the fireworks with Evan. it was pretty romantic even though we were surrounded by people we had just met. we drank and partied and laughed. went home and fought lol . i laugh because we fought because Evan was so drunk he could barely walk and wasnt making sense at all. it was frustrating and upsetting, but mildly amusing to look back on. plus he made up for it yesterday by being very sweet and apologized.

then yesterday we had brunch at Gracie's Place (my friend's mom's tea house). and it was DELICIOUS. i had tomato basil bisque and Evan had squash bisque. Brooke was hilarious and Vivi (our 3 year old god daughter) was in top form. and drew a great picture of us.

then we washed cars and did some grocery shopping and wrapped up our night with Dustin.

the three of us grilled and sat on the deck. then watched American Pickers while Dustin and i job searched for him... all in all: GREAT day!

okay. back to the daily grind...

i picked myself up again...

SO its been a while. a long while.

it seems that for a few weeks i fell off the proverbial wagon.

fell off from my gym trips... fell off from avoiding late night ice cream... fell off from blogging...

i found myself uninspired. unmotivated. personal worries, issues, sadness and the usual overworked life style that i lead left me not trying as hard. i was ashamed. i gained back very quickly the 15 lbs i had lost. my boyfriends bike shop put stress in our world, and made him less than wonderful to be around some days, and my job(s) put even more stress on me personally - i've been driving 3 hours a day to work several jobs, with little to show or accolades to receive. i had an art show that consumed me and while painting, the last thing i worried about was the gym or my food intake.

is this what they call yo you dieting?


but for the past two weeks i have been reinspired. i had to face my issues head on and realize that i'm the only person who can change me. i also know that i felt the need to have someone to answer to.

so i sought out my friend Betsy. She is a personal trainer and nutritionist in California. She sent me an inspiring letter filled with do's and dont's. and i decided to give it a try.

so i did. and the first week in - without even going to the gym - lost 5 lbs.

this is a good jump start!

so it means no more ice cream. period. no more cheese. no more bread. all the yummy things i love are gone. and during the summer: this is NOT easy. but i'm figuring it out!

so tonight i'm taking my newly inspired self to the hospital to watch the birth of my first niece, Chloe. i cannot wait to meet her.

and then thursday morning i'm riding the Hellcat to work, loading it in the trailer of Baker crap, and heading south for the Smokeout rally.

i hope for a weekend of fun, friends, bikes and relaxation.

Next week i add the gym back into my routine and hope for the very best to continue happening.

Betsy helped me set a goal - where do i want to be by August 1st? i wanted to lose 30 lbs by then. thats agressive. but i have shed 5. and if i shed a few more every week, by August first i bet i can be really close.

so lets see what happens. :)



i hope that this brings me some satisfaction and helps make my relationship stronger and more exciting. i hope that it helps me feel like a renewed person.

mostly i hope i get it handled so i can talk about more things than dieting.

;)

ahhh... *achoo!* its finally summer!

Normally allergies dont hit me hard... if at all. i was born severe Asthmatic so i've always done my fair share of weezing, but for some reason, this year is really rough on me!

but this summer holds much promise.

not only for my body and the changes i'm making in my life, but also for my family and friends.

I have avoided the scales. I didnt do so well on my diet in Panama City Beach on our last trip: after 7 straight nights of Mexican food and sangria, i'm sure i packed some pounds back on. so i've just worked hard with the notion that i'll wait until i improve. actually seeing the numbers is discouraging.

last week i pushed myself. i got my speed up on the treadmill and was happily going at nearly 6 miles an hour. this is no small feat for me. so i'm proud of it. i skipped the 5k to push further. its these little baby steps that are proving successful.

i'm making progress on a few projects as well - and it seems to really aid in my goals of getting healthier.

we pulled the motor out of my 76 maverick last night. it was my first car, so restoring it to running condition, despite its horrible Michigan rust cancer, is really important to me. i cant believe how relieved and happy i felt when that motor finally swug free of the engine compartment.

also, working on making my bike, the Hellcat finally tuned right. i'm working hard on understanding WHY and HOW the points, carb , etc all work. i'm really gaining an understanding of the engine. i was able to do the math and now i KNOW what jet to put in my old bendix carb and WHY that will make it work better. i can diagnose issues and finally come up with a solution for them!

also, in the next 3-4 weeks i'll be an aunt. i was an "aunt" to dustin's nieces and nephews for a decade. but i only have one living brother and so his children will be my only blood relatives. his wife is due June 13th to have a little girl. they are naming her Chloe Grace. i'm excited about her arrival. i think she's what our family needs right now! and from her ultrasounds i'm so excited to finally hold her and see those fat little cheeks in person!

and finally the past few weeks have permitted me some gardening time... and seeing new growth and the fruits of your labor and the amazing miracle of it all is really the best way to lift spirits!

so despite my allergies and horrible work schedule, i'm seeing results for the positive in my life. its amazing how much different this is than this time last year when i was sure it had all fallen apart beyond repair.

:)