changes...

the end of my summer wrapped up fast and within a week it went from being 70 degrees in Michigan to being a high of in the 40s during the day. ouch.

still plugging away at my personal goals but not finding much in the way of results.

could be stress. could be lack of motivation. i'm so close but so far away.

interesting stuff i'm changing though in my life: my career.

i'm devoting more time to Plymouth Cycle and Speed and My Little Needle Tattoos and much less to previous endeavors. i think you reach a point in your life where your boss's mean hearted emails, and emotional roller coaster of reactions and demands is more than you can handle. and being your own boss, despite the money woes and the personal demands, is far more superior of an options. so thats where i stand. and its the best thing i think ive ever done.

working hard on a website for my tattoo shop, and working hard to bolster the bike shop business.

we WILL make it, and someday WONT be under the thumb of the unappreciative.

its a revolutionary thought to me. maybe not everyone is so "eureka!" over the idea... but i sure am :)

success>?!

today i weigh in 17 lbs lighter than i did at my last posting.

the funny thing: with how busy i've been : i've been to the gym only once... yet i've lost 17 lbs!

i'd say betsy is on to something!

and on this path: 15 more to go to reach my august 1st goal. i can do this.

and i believe that by my birthday i can be at my all time final goal.

woopee!

this is a great feeling after such a nice weekend.

i went to take pictures of my niece Chloe - since she's a whole 10 days old!



and i held her and we posed her all over for pics. she's such a doll.

and i had my first boat ride on a neighbor's pontoon. at dark, under the fireworks with Evan. it was pretty romantic even though we were surrounded by people we had just met. we drank and partied and laughed. went home and fought lol . i laugh because we fought because Evan was so drunk he could barely walk and wasnt making sense at all. it was frustrating and upsetting, but mildly amusing to look back on. plus he made up for it yesterday by being very sweet and apologized.

then yesterday we had brunch at Gracie's Place (my friend's mom's tea house). and it was DELICIOUS. i had tomato basil bisque and Evan had squash bisque. Brooke was hilarious and Vivi (our 3 year old god daughter) was in top form. and drew a great picture of us.

then we washed cars and did some grocery shopping and wrapped up our night with Dustin.

the three of us grilled and sat on the deck. then watched American Pickers while Dustin and i job searched for him... all in all: GREAT day!

okay. back to the daily grind...

i picked myself up again...

SO its been a while. a long while.

it seems that for a few weeks i fell off the proverbial wagon.

fell off from my gym trips... fell off from avoiding late night ice cream... fell off from blogging...

i found myself uninspired. unmotivated. personal worries, issues, sadness and the usual overworked life style that i lead left me not trying as hard. i was ashamed. i gained back very quickly the 15 lbs i had lost. my boyfriends bike shop put stress in our world, and made him less than wonderful to be around some days, and my job(s) put even more stress on me personally - i've been driving 3 hours a day to work several jobs, with little to show or accolades to receive. i had an art show that consumed me and while painting, the last thing i worried about was the gym or my food intake.

is this what they call yo you dieting?


but for the past two weeks i have been reinspired. i had to face my issues head on and realize that i'm the only person who can change me. i also know that i felt the need to have someone to answer to.

so i sought out my friend Betsy. She is a personal trainer and nutritionist in California. She sent me an inspiring letter filled with do's and dont's. and i decided to give it a try.

so i did. and the first week in - without even going to the gym - lost 5 lbs.

this is a good jump start!

so it means no more ice cream. period. no more cheese. no more bread. all the yummy things i love are gone. and during the summer: this is NOT easy. but i'm figuring it out!

so tonight i'm taking my newly inspired self to the hospital to watch the birth of my first niece, Chloe. i cannot wait to meet her.

and then thursday morning i'm riding the Hellcat to work, loading it in the trailer of Baker crap, and heading south for the Smokeout rally.

i hope for a weekend of fun, friends, bikes and relaxation.

Next week i add the gym back into my routine and hope for the very best to continue happening.

Betsy helped me set a goal - where do i want to be by August 1st? i wanted to lose 30 lbs by then. thats agressive. but i have shed 5. and if i shed a few more every week, by August first i bet i can be really close.

so lets see what happens. :)



i hope that this brings me some satisfaction and helps make my relationship stronger and more exciting. i hope that it helps me feel like a renewed person.

mostly i hope i get it handled so i can talk about more things than dieting.

;)

ahhh... *achoo!* its finally summer!

Normally allergies dont hit me hard... if at all. i was born severe Asthmatic so i've always done my fair share of weezing, but for some reason, this year is really rough on me!

but this summer holds much promise.

not only for my body and the changes i'm making in my life, but also for my family and friends.

I have avoided the scales. I didnt do so well on my diet in Panama City Beach on our last trip: after 7 straight nights of Mexican food and sangria, i'm sure i packed some pounds back on. so i've just worked hard with the notion that i'll wait until i improve. actually seeing the numbers is discouraging.

last week i pushed myself. i got my speed up on the treadmill and was happily going at nearly 6 miles an hour. this is no small feat for me. so i'm proud of it. i skipped the 5k to push further. its these little baby steps that are proving successful.

i'm making progress on a few projects as well - and it seems to really aid in my goals of getting healthier.

we pulled the motor out of my 76 maverick last night. it was my first car, so restoring it to running condition, despite its horrible Michigan rust cancer, is really important to me. i cant believe how relieved and happy i felt when that motor finally swug free of the engine compartment.

also, working on making my bike, the Hellcat finally tuned right. i'm working hard on understanding WHY and HOW the points, carb , etc all work. i'm really gaining an understanding of the engine. i was able to do the math and now i KNOW what jet to put in my old bendix carb and WHY that will make it work better. i can diagnose issues and finally come up with a solution for them!

also, in the next 3-4 weeks i'll be an aunt. i was an "aunt" to dustin's nieces and nephews for a decade. but i only have one living brother and so his children will be my only blood relatives. his wife is due June 13th to have a little girl. they are naming her Chloe Grace. i'm excited about her arrival. i think she's what our family needs right now! and from her ultrasounds i'm so excited to finally hold her and see those fat little cheeks in person!

and finally the past few weeks have permitted me some gardening time... and seeing new growth and the fruits of your labor and the amazing miracle of it all is really the best way to lift spirits!

so despite my allergies and horrible work schedule, i'm seeing results for the positive in my life. its amazing how much different this is than this time last year when i was sure it had all fallen apart beyond repair.

:)

day 56... really? its been that long?

what a joy!

after a very rainy trip to Daytona i returned home renewed and ready for Spring...

and ready to continue my journey!

Its been two weeks now that i've been home, and i've stayed really on task. despite a few days where evan and i butted heads and i felt depressed about that: i otherwise feel rejuvinated and uplifted...

perhaps its because after my first workout home, i weighed in 7 pounds lighter than when i left... and the best part: after last night's workout: i weighed in 5 pounds lighter than that.

these are HUGE, GINORMOUS, MONSTEROUS accomplishments for me.

it seems that these milestones have really been what i needed. they've proven that just when it seemed that things weren't working: they did. and do. and just when i felt like a bad day needed to end with an amazingly huge bowl of mint chocolate chip ice cream - that i have other ways of dealing. and most of all, i'm pushed forward. things seem happier in my world.

i've spent the past week making leaps and bounds in my work, being creative and producing quite a lot of art that i havent been so inspired to do for some time.

maybe its the few pounds i've lost. maybe it was the week of riding my Hellcat in the rain. maybe its the buds on my bush outside, or the newly sprouted tulips in the backyard... whatever it is: its working and i hope it sticks around for 56 more days!

day 27...

I'm finding that blogging isnt exactly what i thought it'd be and so i'm finding amazing inspiration in others blogs. i think someday i'll get the hang of this... until then youre stuck with this! ha!

things have been going well. we have missed a few gym days due to busy schedules, family functions and a recent family friend passing. otherwise: its amazing how rejuvinated you feel after a half hour on the treadmill. Evan cracks me up at the gym. For some reason him running next to me with his vans and his trucker hat and beard is just comical. He's always good for putting a smile on my face.

i've been doing well on the not drinking soda thing. i've rediscovered unsweetened ice tea in its place. and putting away 64 ounces or more of water a day is getting more and more bearable!

i'm making it a point to avoid the scales. i want to just try i want to see where i land in months. i want to put on my skinny jeans and have them look baggy. then i'll know i've accomplished something!

tomorrow we leave for Daytona bike week. i always lose weight in Daytona. i spend my time there not eating, having some cocktails, sure. but i am on my feet in the heat. kick starting my bike - and its sort of the awakening from the winter. i always come home ready to tackle spring and prep for the fun summer ahead.

My bike is pretty special to me. I built it with the help of my best friends and my dad. My Dad and i pulled many hours in the barn behind our little house with poor lighting and no heat. we built it from boxes of parts and i loved it. i rode it all by myself to the Smokeout west - all the way in Arizona. it was a big accomplishment for me. it was 50% there... almost what i wanted. Then I took it to Evan and he helped me accomplish the other 50%. He taught me about grinding, chopping and welding. we remade the motorcycle and i determined that during all of the building of this bike - the one person who supported me but never got to see it was my Grandpa Bob. He died suddenly the week after i returned from the Smokeout because of an accidental medicine reaction in the hospital. He was an amazing person. full of Faith and talent. Always smiling, always loving, always making jokes and little fun noises. He was my Papa. and his favorite thing was to paint airplaines. and one of his favorite airplanes was the F6F Hellcat. Two years ago i had the Hellcat tattooed on my arm for him. He loved it and he'd kiss my arm when he saw me. Even after he lost his leg, he was so chipper and loved when i'd visit... So my bike was thusly titled in honor of my Papa.



its fun. it took me a long while to learn how to kick start it. and how to ride it. i admit: i crashed it the first year i rode. it was scary. there's nothing quite as surreal as sliding down the side of the road, while your bike is a foot from you, sliding, and watching the sparks fly and the grass near your face. i'm so lucky that my accident was mild. but it still haunts me and has taught me about being a better rider. since then i've come a long way. i'm far more confident on two wheels. i'm told it happens at least once to every rider. lets hope i got my once out of the way!

well... time to hop in the truck tomorrow and hit the open road... such is the life of a carnie *wink*

Day 14...

This weekend I thought would be the hardest because I was in Cincinnati at the VTwin Expo. Pretty much all of the motorcycle manufacturing and distribution companies gather there to show off their newest innovations in the vtwin market. My job is to make sure that my company looks its very best there. so the stress level before hand is at its highest. I butted heads with my boss, worked many all-nighters, and got far too dirty and sore by loading and unloading the trailer (we take our show display down in a 40 foot gooseneck trailer) and we set up a 20'x20' indoor show display complete with ten foot tall and 20 foot wide metal trusswork. it looks cool but its a lot of work.

needless to say that everyone is working hard before Cinci and so when everyone gets there its like one giant sigh of relief. then we all eat, drink and make merry all weekend.

i thought that this merry-making would infringe on my healthy eating.

it only did in the sense that i missed a few meals: but later replaced those calories with cocktails. :)

and though i missed two gym days: i did get much excersize in prepping the display, walking in and out of the convention hall, all over the city for meetings and dinner functions, etc.

but tomorrow night: its back to my routine at the gym. i hope to up things from where they were last week. i'd like to do more than 5 miles on the treadmill, and more than 5 on the bike. and i picked up a card from a trainer. perhaps they can help me with my target areas.

here's to a positive foot forward for the rest of the year!

Day 5...

Starting this new plan right before the weekend was difficult! But I'm congratulating myself on a job well done, amidst much temptation this weekend!

The gym has proven to be a fun idea and a work regimine has been planned out. We were given a 30 minute session with a trainer with our sign up, so I'm most definitely going to take advantage of that!

Friday night I went to my tattoo studio to work on a client. I spent several hours with him while Evan was at the bar. I went to retrieve Evan from the bar, and wound up staying until close. But I was happy because instead of my usual late night bar food and bad drink choices, I ordered a single piece of veggie pizza and had a vodka redbull... not the best choice: but better than the 5 or so beers or whiskey and cokes i usually put down! We almost stayed but instead chose to drive home at 3am. I was happy for my own bed instead of Lauren's couch.

Saturday was a busy day spent tattooing Dustin. We finished a long tattoo, had a smart lunch (though I did succumb to a coke at lunch, I did the good thing and poured it into a small paper cup, drank only that and made sure to still get my three 32 oz bottles of water in for the day).

We went home and cleaned the house, cooked a healthy dinner and watched television. I needed a night from chaos!

Sunday was a very good day. Got some gym shoes and new yoga pants (as well as a cute black button down sweater). had a nice lunch with the parents - and i was smart! i had a half salad and a cup of soup. go me!

for dinner Evan and i experimented with fish. Being vegetarian is hard. we are lacking a lot of protein and vitamins in our diet so it was suggested that we supplement with fish now and then. we tried tilapia and over seasoned it. it was so lemony! but the side dish of plain rice and sweet peas was yummy.

This morning i substituted my overly sweet coffee with hot tea for the drive to work. good caffiene boost without the sugar and cream!

i've stayed on my vitamins thus far, and though i have a stressful weekend ahead for work: i look forward to the coming months!

tonight: the gym again. i'm actually excited!!!!

something new...

today is a big day for me... while i've embarked on many journeys in my life: the one journey i've neglected is one aimed entirely at myself, physically.

during the years i've allowed stress, a poor vegetarian diet and a sedentary job to allow me to lose track of good health. this year i turned 30. i didnt think it would affect me this much... however, i recently stepped on the scale. i realized that i've shed the teen body i had and my tattoos have been the only thing i've "given" my body in a long time.

now this comes as no surprise: i was a very skinny child, but a terrible thyroid condition put me as a late teen, into the downward spiral of weight gain. it happened fast and has never been controlled.

that coupled with my love for a nice tall beer, or a black bean burger with fries at the bar up the street, has left me tipping the scales higher than i'd prefer.

so while i intended to create a new blog documenting my artistic endeavors (worry not, i still will!), some of my mission here is to follow my first journey of myself.

a new diet plan has been written, a gym membership obtained, and a naggy voice added to the back of my head that reminds me that while my usual 10pm scoop of chocolate ice cream sounds amazing: for now at least, it will need to stay in the freezer for safe keeping.

so tonight, after work, i go for my first workout at the gym. while i'm not excited to jump around, and move in front of complete strangers, i am excited to wear shorts for the first time in years when warm weather hits. and i'm excited to have folks tell me that i'm sexy or attractive and not that i'm "big", "curvy" or "have a pretty face". more than anything: i want to soon become a mother: and do so in a healthy fashion and bounce back after so i can chase a little one around.

so here goes nothing! let's see where this takes me, eh?